Two Ugly Truths About Sex Before Marriage

As you all know, I always encourage everyone to stay off sex until marriage, I know the damage it can do to you physically and emotionally. This week being Cervical Cancer Awareness month, I have decided to do a post on two dangers of having premarital sex. I hope you love it!

One danger of having premarital is the danger of being exposed to STD’s, some can be treated immediately, while some can lead to more dangerous issues such as Cervical Cancer for a lady. Cervical cancer occurs when abnormal cells on the cervix grow out of control. This cancer can be successfully treated when it is detected early through a Pap test. This type of cancer is caused by a virus called human papillomavirus, or HPV. You can get HPV by having sexual contact with someone who has it. The best way to avoid getting a sexually transmitted infection is to not have sex  if you are single and to stick to your partner if you are. It is not all types of HPV that cause cervical cancer. Some of them cause genital warts, while others may not cause any symptoms. The infection sometimes goes away on its own, cause genital warts or lead to cervical cancer.

This is the sole reason for the importance of regular Pap Smear also called Pap tests. This test can find changes in cervical cells before they turn into cancer. If you treat these cell changes early enough, you may prevent cervical cancer.

Abnormal cervical cell changes rarely cause symptoms. But you may have symptoms if those cell changes grow into cervical cancer. These Symptoms include:

  • Bleeding: bleeding between menstrual periods, after sex, or after menopause.
  • Pain in the lower belly or pelvis.
  • Pain during sex.
  • Vaginal discharge that isn’t normal.

I encourage married women to go for Pap Smear, as the virus that causes cervical cancer is spread through sexual contact. I also encourage married folks to have sex with only their partner.

Apart from the fact that pre-marital sex can lead to cervical cancer, as a Christian, there is a connection between sexual purity and a healthy “life of worship and time of worship”. Nathaniel Bassey took to his Instagram page to teach on how pre-marital sex affects our worship.

First, worship has to be in the beauty of Holiness, that is,  of the heart, mind, and body. In motive and action, because God is Holy.

That’s the reason one of the biggest hindrances to true worship is sexual immorality. You must understand that a sexual activity is in itself an act of worship. In fact, it is the earthly parallel of our spiritual and highest form of relationship with God, worship.

Many of you would agree with me on this, if you are a Christian, I mean, A born again Christian, who loves God and eschews evil, you would have noticed that worshipping God becomes difficult after you fall into a sexual sin. Note, I said sexual sin, as this may not only be limited to just sexual intercourse with the opposite sex. Because sexual sin is one that not only involves your body but your mind and spirit.

In fact, you may have cried and repented, and God being who He is will always forgive, but you would notice having that sweet fellowship and communion becomes a struggle for some time. You know why?

Because the soul which is the seat of our feelings and emotions was disturbed and corrupted. And while God has forgiven you, you nonetheless enter into a struggle within you. Deep in your soul, which is now grappling with a NEW personality. Which is referred to as a soul tie, I’m not talking about people who are habitual sexual sinners here, who have learned and mastered the act of shrugging off any feeling of conviction, because after a while their conscience becomes insensitive and unresponsive. If you are here, please run back to Jesus quickly. I’m talking about sincere lovers of God who have made mistakes or have struggled in this area and battling to be free.

Have you ever wondered why the scripture urges us to FLEE when it comes to sexual sins? The reason is not farfetched.

But here is the good news, there is a way out. JESUS. The blood of Jesus is available to set us free. And as we make a choice to live in holiness, God’s grace comes to strengthen. But we must make a choice and decision as free moral agents.

Please feel free to submit articles on how you overcame your low self-esteem and if you haven’t overcome it, I am here to help.

Email me

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Actress Yvonne Orji Talks Body Positivity on ELLE

I recently came across an article of Yvonne Orji on and I believe it’s worth the read. Yvonne Orji is both an actress and comedian, she opted out of a career in medicine to become a comedian. She was born in Nigeria and moved to America when she was six with her parents and her three older brothers. Before this article, I had never come across her, never even heard of the show but she said something very profound in the article which I will like everyone to play attention.

“When I came to America as a six-year-old, I had a nice, thick accent, which didn’t go over very well with elementary school kids.  For years, I got teased, picked on, and bullied. They called me “African booty scratcher” and things like that.

I had big lips then. You know, Botox wasn’t around, so they called me “soup coolers.” But of course, with immigrant parents, my mum and dad would tell me things like “they’re just jealous of you”

Don’t you just love African parents!!!!!!!!!!

In the article, she stated that she has never been 100 percent comfortable with her body. “My arms and legs have always been great, but my abs are my problem areas. For instance, there’s a scene in episode eight where Molly is wearing a crop top and I’m totally sucking in the entire time. For the jacuzzi scene where I had to wear a bathing suit, I begged the wardrobe stylist—Ayanna James–to get me a sexy one-piece with cut-outs. I can do cut-outs!’ When I tell people I wear Spanx, they’re always like, ‘You don’t need Spanx!’ and I’m like, I need Spanx.’ I lost a little bit of weight to play Molly, and it was the slimmest I’ve been in a while, but I still wasn’t as toned as I would have liked.


My comfortability with my body and what I wear is a work in progress. When my stylist Toye Adedipe gives me something with a super drop neck, I’m just like, ‘That looks like a lot of work. That looks like I gotta have tape.’ Anytime I have to do tape, I’m like, ‘Nah.’ But he has been able to push me outside of my comfort zone, to be like, ‘Yvonne, you’re a woman. You’re a lady, you have a nice body.’ He’s helping me realise, your body is actually better than you think it is.

I’ll probably always opt for makeup because I just like the way it feels. You can play with it and create different looks and I think that’s fun. But I also want the option to not need it. I think that’s what life is about, just having the options to or not to do.

Please feel free to submit articles on how you overcame your low self-esteem and if you haven’t overcome it, I am here to help.

Email me

Instagram/Twitter @adebankefalade

Image Source Instagram