Low Self Esteem Will Be A Thing Of Your Past And Here’s Why

Your self-esteem is the way your view yourself, the way your value yourself, it is also the how important you think you are in the eyes of others and in the eyes of the world.  The way you view yourself affects everything about your life, it affects how to will relate with others, it affects your career, I think to a large extent it plays a part in your relationship-deciding the kind of man/woman you want to be with and just how worthy you think you are of them.

Low self-esteem feeds off negative, most times untrue thoughts you have about yourself. It causes you to believe in the awful things people say about you. Low self-esteem causes you to lose your self-confidence.

“Low self-esteem” exists when someone has a general feeling of insignificance or a lack of importance. Someone with low self-esteem is likely to avoid social interactions, feel inadequate in work and struggle to accept criticism. Severely low esteem may also lead to physical symptoms, such as headaches and exhaustion.

According to Overcoming, crucial experiences that help to form our beliefs about ourselves often (although not always) occur early in life. What you saw, heard and experienced in childhood – in your family, in the wider community, and at school – will have influenced the way you see yourself. Examples of early experiences that could lead to your thinking badly of yourself include:

  • systematic punishment, neglect or abuse
  • failing to meet parental standards
  • failing to meet peer-group standards
  • being on the receiving end of other people’s stress or distress.
  • belonging to a family or social group that other people are prejudiced towards
  • an absence of praise, warmth, affection or interest
  • being the odd one out, at home or at school.

Karl Perera believes that our self-esteem depends on many questions:

  • Is your job worthwhile? Do others respect what you do? Do you?
  • Do you believe you are successful?
  • How do you see yourself (your self-image or view of you)?
  • How do you feel about yourself, and your strengths and weaknesses?
  • Are you comparing yourself to others and ignoring the unique value that you have?
  • What do you think of your social status?
  • How do you relate to others?
  • Can you make your own decisions? A lack of choices leads to low levels of self-esteem.

According to PsychSkills, low self-esteem is characterized by:

  1. Heavy self-criticism, tending to create a habitual state of dissatisfaction with yourself. Exaggerating the magnitude of mistakes or behaviors and not able to reach self-forgiveness.
  2. Hypersensitivity to criticism leading to feeling attacked and not being open to constructive criticism.
  3. Chronic indecision due to fear of making mistakes.
  4. People pleasing.
  5. Hostility or irritability—easily angered even over minor things.
  6. Feelings of insignificance.
  7. General negativity about life and often an inability to enjoy life.

Easy Steps to Raising Your Self Esteem

It is only logical that since the feelings of low self-esteem build up over time, letting go of these feelings will also happen over time. It takes a mixture of consistency, ‘I would not let this feeling get the best years of myself’, a lot of self-love, time, and in some cases counseling to totally be secure in yourself and in who you are.

I have learned that a lot of positive thinking is used to help low self-esteem, these are also called affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements that describe (in this case) how you truly are and not what you have heard or seen, you are to repeat these statements as often as you can, until they get impressed in your subconscious mind. As a man thinketh in his heart so is he, renewing your mind with positive affirmations is a sure way to improve your self-esteem. You renew your mind about who you are through using positive words.

I have listed some positive affirmations that have helped me so far, I am sure they will help you as well:

  • I matter
  • My glad heart gives me a hapy face
  • I am created in the image of God
  • I am fearfully and wonderfully made
  • In God I live and move and I have all my being
  • I am complete in Him
  • When He hung on the cross, He saw me
  • I am confident
  • I can do all things
  • I have the spirit of wisdom
  • I  believe in myself
  • I am happy in my own skin
  • I am God’s and I matter to him. He calls me by my name.
  • God cares about the details in my life. He even knows the number of my hair.
  • I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
  • With God, I am the apple of His eye.
  • I’m engraved in on the palms of God’s hands; my walls are continually before Him.
  • I am a unique child of God.
  • My light shines brightly.

Please feel free to submit articles on how you overcame your low self-esteem and if you haven’t overcome it, I am here to help.

Email me thelagosbeautyblogger@gmail.com

Instagram/Twitter @adebankefalade


To Sex Or Not To Sex- 4 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t

When I was in the world I acted like those of the world….now I am not of the world, it would go against the very fibre of my being to act like those in the world do.

My generation and maybe even the one before and after me happen to believe everything revolves around sex. They want to ‘test’ before they marry-test what. Is it an exam?

Sadly, many girls have gone through the test or should I say tests, as many have written for and have been written by them for Kunle, Samuel, Ayo, Chinedu, Thomas and so on. The same goes for my men as well, if Sade doesn’t perform as Chichi did, Sade isn’t good enough. So he moves to Fatima. Fatima may be good enough but might not just be as wild as the new girl he saw a couple of days ago. The circle continues and in the midst of this we have std’s, sti’s, lowered self esteem, self worth and what not’s.

All I can say is most persons lack self control. Lack of self control is probably the most destructive thing in this world….the fact that you cannot control an urge is just indiscipline…. You know people try to make it better by saying that guys can’t think when they are aroused….that is why they beg, that is why they shake, that is why they toss in the middle of the night when you decide as a girl to be naive (stupid) enough to spend the night in his house. So you feel guilty and give in because you might loose him and you don’t want to loose him because the next guy might not treat you as good…he might not buy you nice things….you don’t even know if you will find a next guy…..so you forget all you have been told….”wait till marriage, its a sin, you will go to hell, no man wants a used woman, your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit” You forget all these things because Frank seems like the one….he seems like it.

See ehn, I love you girl child and how I love your body. I love your curves and all there is to you. I love you when you are innocent, I love you when you are not, I love you when you make mistakes, I love you when you stand up and dust off the shame. I love how strong you are and how when you have had enough you NEVER go back.

I want you to make a decision today. Make a decision NOT TO SEX.

I tell you not to sex and not because of eternal damnation but because you love your body and because you know that even if sex was an exam it takes a while to prepare for it.

Say no because this body is too precious to be run over by many guys before the One comes along

Say no because you have had enough and you refuse to give into the notion that no other guy will be good enough

Say no because with sex you never know who he truly is. All the times he probably calls is because he wants you not because he needs you.

Say no because when you are old and strong you need a man to hold you, to talk to you, to listen to you and not a man that trembles when he gets a see a piece of skin.

P.s there are now more boys than girls. Don’t fear, God has more than enough for you. Let that guy go….there are plenty of fish in the sea.

My God will supply ALL your needs and there will be many left overs


Please feel free to submit articles on how you overcame your low self-esteem and if you haven’t overcome it, I am here to help.

Email me thelagosbeautyblogger@gmail.com

Instagram/Twitter @adebankefalade