#MySelfEsteemAndI Breaking Fat Girl Fashion Rules

www.lagosbeautyblogger.wordpress.com

I haven’t always had a good relationship with my arms, hating the extra bulk, but these are also the arms that I use to hug my family and friends, that help my brush my teeth, write my papers, do my job. They are the arms that help me swim, and eat pizza, and comfort a friend. These are the arms I graze my body with to show it, love, the arms I pull a man closer with, the arms that I proudly show off when dancing at the club or walking around my beautiful neighbourhood. Life is too exciting to let something like a little extra fat on my arms hold me back, but we all know that we have let that arm fat stop us before.

Sometimes I find it silly that as a fat woman, something as ordinary as the way I dress makes a statement.  As a fat woman, my life is under surveillance, how I dress, what I eat, if I’m happy; these are all things people feel they can notice and comment on. By breaking fat girl fashion rules, by not hiding that I eat, by living a life of happiness and fulfilment, and not one that’s sole purpose is to lose weight and become smaller my ordinary actions, things we all do, suddenly become acts of rebellion. I will embrace this, but I also hope for a day where my body will simply become ordinary, where the scrutiny of my life will cease to exist, whereby simply living I will no longer be making a statement other than that I love myself and my life. I hope for a day where diversity is not seen as deviance but as beauty and strength. Until then, I’ll keep breaking the rules by demanding the space and the ability to live how I want to live, eat what I want to eat, wear what I want to wear and move how and where I want to move.

Stop allowing the fat on your arms or any other area of your body hold you back.

Just stop.

Stop.

You are so much more! And it’s just extra squish. You are capable and worthy. And if you don’t have fatty arms, stop shaming people who do. Our arms are beautiful not for the way they look (whether skinny or fat) but for what they do! So live a life of no body shame, fat or thin, young or old. Be the living breathing fiercely passionate beautiful being you are!

🍝->🍸 #louisville #🎂 #bodypositive #sunsoutbellysout #croptop

A post shared by Melissa (@yourstruelymelly) on

I don’t buy into the narrative that I am less of a whole human because I am fat. The narrative that says my whole life is about shrinking myself. I don’t buy into the idea that I’m not beautiful or that I am disgusting and lazy. I don’t buy it anymore and I don’t want any of us too. Because there are a lot of us fat women, fat people. And we are wonderful and smart and inspiring, and fun, and sad sometimes, and we are mothers, sisters, lovers, partners, and friends. We are here making this world go round in some of the most lovely ways. So I’m proud of this little space I take up online where I get to preach and be body positive So I wanted to share with you, because you all have been a part of this journey, some since I was a little girl, some since I was neck deep in body shame, some since the very first picture was posted here. I am grateful every day for you letting me be a part of your lives and you being a part of mine. No matter who you are, you get to take up space, you are valuable, and you are wonderful! Let’s keep changing the world!

Just over a year ago I started posting pictures of myself online. It might not seem like anything extraordinary, but for me it was. As a fat woman, I had hidden from the reality of my body for so long and in turn that made me shrink from life in so many ways. Today this account hit 100,000 followers, and while followers aren’t any real measure of my own journey, this piece of my life is something that I’m proud of. I’m proud to be a part of the Body Positive community. It’s something I believe in because not only do we have too much body negativity in our world (experienced by everyone), but I also recognise the unique experiences fat people especially fat women face.

This has been a space for me to share my life, my personal style, the ways I’ve begun to use my body, to get in touch with it again, to make it my friend and not my enemy. It’s a space I get to interact with other people who have felt and feel like their fat bodies make them less valuable, less worthy of love and friendship, and less capable. It’s a place we get to be cute and celebrate who we are holistically. It’s also a place where the reality of fat shame and fat hate become all too apparent.

She had this to say about the Body Positive Movement, “My favorite thing about this movement is that it’s a space where women/femmes not only get to love on themselves but that that it’s also a place where women/femmes get to celebrate each other and in a way that doesn’t put our own bodies down. I’m more than cool with that after years of comparing my body to others, constantly recalculating my worth based on positioning myself against other women nearby. I’m tired of that.

Playing dress up in my @smartglamour Iris Crop Top and Juno Taffeta Skirt that Mallorie made specifically for me. It's a part of their Bridal and Special Occasion line but really can work for any spring event. Also the crop top will look cute with just about anything ❤️❤️❤️. Check out their site to get your own custom made pieces or she is actually having a pop up in Nashville today so if you are in that area go check it out: "We are bringing our special brand of shopping to Nashville for a one day pop up. May 1st, 11am-5pm at Atmalogy (2320 West End Avenue, Nashville, TN, 37203) Shop designs of every size (XXS-6X and beyond) for the same price, together in one space – customize any item to your liking! Every piece is under $100 and ethically made in NYC. Complimentary wine will be served, first come first serve." This as usual comes on so many different colors and can be made in any size! #effyourbeautystandards #bodypositivity #honormycurves #plussize #bridal #bridesmaid

A post shared by Melissa (@yourstruelymelly) on

Side note: I also think that’s why the Body Positivity of fat people rubs people the wrong way. People who have defined their worth by comparing themselves to fat women/femmes their entire lives don’t know how to love themselves outside of the thought that “at least I am not fat like…” My fat body does not exist for you to put down so you can feel better about yourself. There is space for all of us at the self-love table, at the confidence brunch, and “feeling myself” feast. If you are defining your own worth by comparing your body to other women around you, you’re buying into a game we didn’t create and that oppresses us all. Learn to love your body and your whole being outside of the context of others and celebrate other women/femmes in the process!

You can follow her on Instagram here

Please feel free to submit articles on how you overcame your low self-esteem and if you haven’t overcome it, I am here to help.

Email me thelagosbeautyblogger@gmail.com

Twitter LagosBeautyBlog

 

 

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