I have been in a few relationships over the past years looking for things I assumed men could give me; love, acceptance, e.t.c. It was of late that I realised that a man cannot give me some certain things. I have to be content in myself and in who I am becoming before I can ever appreciate anything any man can and will give me.
Being in several relationships taught me some things. These things I have written down, maybe some of you will learn and appreciate the man you have now. Each of my exes was amazing in their own way, but my low self-worth and constant searching for what I thought they could give me never really made me content.
In addition to the fact that I am extremely stubborn and dramatic
These are the things I wish I knew before getting into any relationship.
Men Don’t Pick Up On Subtle Clues
I think this is the most frustrating thing about dating any guy. I don’t know why they cannot decode, but they can’t. You have to make sure he gets the message and the only way you can do this is by voicing out what you feel.
Men Will Talk About Feelings
Guys like to talk about their feelings when you aren’t forcing down how much you care about them. He will not talk about his feelings out of the blue like you would, but when he does, understand that he means every word he says.
Men Like Pleasing Their Partner
Guys actually like to see you happy. Forget about all the evil things you have heard about guys, guys like to please. Your pleasure is important to your man. He likes to know that he is the reason you can’t stop smiling and so on.
However, he is not a magician; he will not know some things unless you tell him. It is important you are confident enough to talk about what you want and what you like in a way that it doesn’t bruise his ego.
I got into an argument with one of my ex’s at one time. I was giving him as far as I was concerned the gist of the century and it didn’t seem like he was paying attention. We got into an argument because as far as I was concerned if you aren’t focused on me when I am giving you a hot gist, you are not listening.
Note to self. Not all guys will be focused on you or glued to your every word when you are talking, it doesn’t mean they aren’t listening, it just shows that he is different.
They Need Time For Themselves
The most painful thing any guy can tell a needy girl is ‘I need time to myself’. Biko, what time do you need to yourself? Guys have told me this before and it was a knife was passed right through me, I mean, am I not enough time to yourself?
It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be with you or around you. He just needs time to himself.
They Learn From Their Fathers
Get to know his dad. I cannot overemphasise this. Get to know his dad. See how your man is around his family. This will show you how he will be around you.
He loves when you love what he loves
Guys tend to take things a bit further. Ladies tend to show they care by sharing thoughts and feelings while guys like doing things together.
Men Will Stray
I often wondered why men cheat, and I have realised that all men love to be loved in a certain way and if he doesn’t feel loved or appreciated in the way he wants. He may just turn elsewhere. Men interpret different actions as you loving them. Some guys just want you to talk to them, some want you to be very open, and some just want to be with and around you.
The same applies to women if a girl doesn’t feel loved or appreciated the way she wants. She will cheat.
Men Love With Actions
Like I have mentioned before, he might not love you the way you want or think you need to be loved. But, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you as much as the next guy will. Some guys love with actions and others with words.
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