#MySelfEsteemAndI How the World Failed Lil Kim


“I have low self-esteem and I always have. Guys always cheated on me with women who were European-looking. You know the long hair type. Really beautiful women that left me thinking, ‘How I can I compete with that?’ Being a regular black girl wasn’t good enough.”

Lil Kim like some of us has never truly understood what it means to be loved unconditionally.

She had always suffered her father’s disapproval, and that breaks my heart. “It was like I could do nothing right,” she says. “Everything about me was wrong–my hair, my clothes, just me.” After the divorce, she tried to stay with her mother, but money was tight and her father won custody.

As unsure as I was of myself and my self-worth, I could always run to my dad whenever I needed a whole lot of loving. He always had love in his eyes for me; he always had a smile for me, and even when I was being naughty, his words always sounded soft because I was certain of his love for me.

The world failed Lil Kim, and it is still failing a lot of women, a lot of men, a lot of girls and a lot of guys. Low self-esteem doesn’t happen overnight, it is not something we are born with, it is a phenomenon we are born into. Every negative word was spoken, every disapproving glance, every comparison we are forced to endure all stirs up something which eventually  locks on the inside of each and every one of us. Some are lucky enough to shake it away. A large number of us have to go through each day wondering if we will ever be good enough.

I have heard about Lil Kim, her plastic surgeries and the works, I also watched the Notorious B.I.G movie, but I was younger and still consumed with my own inadequacies that I didn’t realise that all these things were a cry for help. Lil Kim has been trying to change so many things on the outside, without realising that healing and acceptance of who and whose you are comes from within.

Oh! How I wish I could love you with the love Jesus has shown to me and with the acceptance He has given me despite my shortcomings. How I wish I could I erase every negative word that was said about and to you. Every single word.

I’d hold you so close and tell you what someone said’ “God took the time to create you exactly the way He wanted. He didn’t mess up or regret creating you. You are perfect just the way you are Kim.”

Just the way you are. He loves every single part of you. He loves everything about you, every mistake you have made, every bad road you have gone into; they all make Him love you all the more.


Please feel free to submit articles on how you overcame your low self-esteem and if you haven’t overcome it, I am here to help.

Email me thelagosbeautyblogger@gmail.com

Twitter LagosBeautyBlog


One thought on “#MySelfEsteemAndI How the World Failed Lil Kim

  1. Hmmmmm…thank you for helping me see her in another light. I remember God told me clearly as in a Voice “I love you” right in a Sunday service. I’ve had self esteem issues but when you have a God that will hug you and let you cry ‘cos you need to purge, send His Holy Spirit to comfort you and your world is alright. The love of a man wouldn’t compare, you wouldn’t give Him up for ANY man. When people say things about you, He tells you “you’re good enough”. When life becomes hard He says “I will not leave you nor forget you” and He doesn’t, no one else will matter, no one else’s opinion will count. I have overcome and I am still overcoming low-self esteem because I have a God who’s a believer in me, a lover of my soul, my teacher and my all.
    P.S: God bless you Adebanke Falade. I knew you from afar while we were classmates, I wouldn’t have thought you to be so spiritual and deep. I like the woman God is making you out to be. I pray that He keeps you and you fulfill His purpose for you.

    Liked by 1 person

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