Most of us grew up wanting to be like Barbie or Ken. Barbie was the perfect girl, the epitome of beauty with her silky skin, her flat tummy, her well-sculptured ass, her long tan legs and her long blonde hair. Ken was our prince charming, the right height, the right smile, and goodness me! the right hair.
I grew up with this TRUTH at the back of my mind, so when I became a woman, I struggled with finding different techniques of how to be Barbie-like.
‘Girls shouldn’t be fat. You will have to constantly watch your weight if you want guys to flock around you.’ I saw this play out throughout my high school years. Guys would only go for the skinny ones, leaving the fat ones to wonder if they were worth it. There was a time during high school that I starved myself because I didn’t like how ‘fat’ I was. I starved myself so much that people didn’t recognise me.
I didn’t understand why people were always asking me to eat. I just wanted to be perfect. I wanted to be Barbie.
People still seem to believe that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. But, I disagree. I disagree because our hearts and minds have been subjected to someone’s definition of beauty from the time we were born. We grew up watching skinny movie stars; the skinniest seemed to get all the boys and all the movies.
The only way the world seemed to pardon your flaws was if you are extremely rich, then, you will be accepted into the circle of ‘beautiful’ or ‘handsome’.
I had always found fault in my body; I am sure most of you have.
You don’t have a flat stomach.
Your breasts aren’t perky enough.
Your breasts aren’t big enough.
Your thighs are too big.
Your hips aren’t as pronounced.
Your butt is too small.
Your butt is sculptured to perfection.
Your waist isn’t small enough.
Your pout isn’t visible enough.
My body isn’t desirable.
This was the TRUTH I lived with for a long time until I began to see myself the way Jesus sees me, this was my prison until He set me free and showed me how precious I am in His eyes.
For the first time in my life, I looked at a mirror on the 6th of February and I couldn’t find any fault in my body. My friend couldn’t understand why I would think that I wasn’t good enough or pretty enough so he asked me to stand in front of a mirror and highlight all my flaws.
For a few seconds I looked at myself and I was perfect, but I ran back to the familiar and listed all the FLAWS I had always listed. All the problems that have been engraved in my mind came flooding back to me.
He took his time to counter every flaw I thought I had a compliment for each part of me.
I want you to do the same.
Look in a mirror and list all the flaws you think you have.
When you are done with that, I want you to burn that list and give yourself a compliment for every flaw you wrote down.
From today, no more flaws, only compliments.