Self Esteem Attacks usually occurred whenever I perceived that I had done or said something stupid. It usually led to long periods of devastation or depression. I believe everyone who suffers from low self-esteem gets these attacks. The degree however varies depending on how highly we value the opinions of those around, and what we conclude the repercussions to be.
Self Esteem Attacks occur whenever a person with low self-esteem does or says something that he afterwards deems to have been inappropriate, stupid, rude, obnoxious, off target, or inaccurate. At that time, the person may experience immediate remorse, excruciating anxiety, his heart racing, his face turning red, a sinking feeling of embarrassment, depression and/or devastation. Wishing he could sink into the floor or disappear he may immediately look for a way to escape.
This attack that may last for minutes, hours, even days during which he berates himself, is fearful of seeing anyone who was in attendance at the time he made his “mistake,” and remain seriously depressed.
I wouldn’t know how everyone else would describe theirs, but mine consisted of my inner voice making incessant remarks-often times hurtful remarks about what I had done or said. The inner voice often replayed these scenarios and when I attempt to correct these errors. There is always a “why bother, you have done enough.”
This caused me to;
- a) Isolate myself from everyone (I find a way to leave where I was) or
- b) Stay quiet (my mum called it mood swings)
I am still in recovery. The attacks are easier to shake off now however. The attacks have slowly become less frequent, less severe in their intensity, and shorter in duration.
Being rid of these attacks is one of my goals these year. I have been renewing my mind-mainly reading the Bible. I am determined to be filled with the Word because I have discovered that whenever the inner voices condemn me the Word of God is always there to soothe my fears.
Read more about Self Esteem Attacks here