#MySelfEsteemandI Self Esteem Attacks

Self Esteem Attacks usually occurred whenever I perceived that I had done or said something stupid. It usually led to long periods of devastation or depression. I believe everyone who suffers from low self-esteem gets these attacks. The degree however varies depending on how highly we value the opinions of those around, and what we conclude the repercussions to be.

Self Esteem Attacks occur whenever a person with low self-esteem does or says something that he afterwards deems to have been inappropriate, stupid, rude, obnoxious, off target, or inaccurate. At that time, the person may experience immediate remorse, excruciating anxiety, his heart racing, his face turning red, a sinking feeling of embarrassment, depression and/or devastation. Wishing he could sink into the floor or disappear he may immediately look for a way to escape.

This attack that may last for minutes, hours, even days during which he berates himself, is fearful of seeing anyone who was in attendance at the time he made his “mistake,” and remain seriously depressed.

I wouldn’t know how everyone else would describe theirs, but mine consisted of my inner voice making incessant remarks-often times hurtful remarks about what I had done or said. The inner voice often replayed these scenarios and when I attempt to correct these errors. There is always a “why bother, you have done enough.”

This caused me to;

  1. a) Isolate myself from everyone (I find a way to leave where I was) or
  2. b) Stay quiet (my mum called it mood swings)

I am still in recovery. The attacks are easier to shake off now however. The attacks have slowly become less frequent, less severe in their intensity, and shorter in duration.

Being rid of these attacks is one of my goals these year. I have been renewing my mind-mainly reading the Bible. I am determined to be filled with the Word because I have discovered that whenever the inner voices condemn me the Word of God is always there to soothe my fears.

Read more about Self Esteem Attacks here

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2 thoughts on “#MySelfEsteemandI Self Esteem Attacks

  1. Self-esteem attacks.
    *sighs
    Before reading your blog, I used to call them “depressive bouts”. Whenever they come, I can barely function. There was no possible other explanation for it, but when I went online to research depression, I had a hard time reconciling what I had read with what I was experiencing. Depression or not, I knew what I had was bad. There was this particular episode that lasted almost a week, and all I could pray for was for it to stop.
    The worst thing about my attacks is that they can be triggered by anything. I could see a really pretty girl and suddenly, that voice comes in and reminds me how I’m never going to be with anyone that beautiful, or anyone for that matter. If it’s a fine boy, the voice says “Look at that fine boy, now look at yourself.”

    In recent times, my attacks are really no longer about how I look. All I can see now is how much I don’t measure up, or will never measure up in every other thing. For example, I could be scouring the internet and come across an article. After reading it, all I will think about is how I’ll never be able to write an article that good. In fact, it happens so much these days that I don’t get to write much anymore. My constant fear is that my writing will never be good enough. It has stopped me from doing a lot of things,

    I felt the onset of another one this morning, but I’ve been able to fight it back…for now.

    Like

    1. but your write up here is awesome and very much insightful. Juts believe in yourself to add value to the lives of people with the same problem you have. God bless

      Like

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